WOW IT's been a really long time.

Since The last time I blogged lots has happened. To start with I finished school. This was a bitter-sweet thing. While I am glad to be done with school I really miss it. I enjoyed being in school. I am currently contemplating going back for my masters in Child and Family Counseling. I will not do this until I get rid of some of my debt. i just dont think schooling for me is done yet.

I am currently going through a mentor training class at church. While the purpose of this training is to prepare me to mentor other christian, I feel like it has helped me grow so much in my faith. It has also made me question alot. I am really enjoying it. I am also involved in 2 different women's bible studies which I LOVE!!!! The women in my bible studies over the years have become some of my best friends. They are so encouraging and it has been amazing to see how many over our prayers have been answered over the years.

The thing that is taking up most of my time right now is searching for a job. This is another one of those bitter-sweet things. I love my current job but I am needing to earn more. So I am currently looking for jobs that are either part time or full time. I would ask that you pray that something will come up soon. I would really like to get rid of some of my debt. I have been trying to really stick with the Dave Ramsey program and it is going pretty well. I have paid of one debt fully and next month I will have paid off at least one more. It is such a great feeling.

Hope all of you are doing well. I am going to try and post each day about something I am thankful about so stay tuned :)

quick update on life

I am sitting here at doernbecher enjoying my morning coffee reflecting on the craziness of the last month. Im almost a month into my time at Doernbecher. I absolutely love it. It has come with challenges but over all I am gaining great experience. When factoring in classes I am finishing up I am taking approximetly 17-19 credits this term. Taking so many credits makes life feel crazy but I am glad to be almost done. Graduation is August 12 in the park blocks. I can't believe Im almost done. I am not sure what I will do once I am done but I have a few plans in place.

Outside of school stuff I am enjoying time with family and friends. Tonight I am going to the Timbers game, I am also planning on camping at the end of July. I am looking forward to being done with school and being able to enjoy summer a little more. This is just a quick update. I will try to fill in more when I have time.

missing dad

Today would be my dad's birthday. I think of him often but lately it feel like more often then not. I think about how much he is missing. I know he is heaven but I sometimes wonder if he see's what is happening here. I hope that if he can see his family he would be proud. I know I am proud of my family and I only imagine how much more my dad would be. So instead of writing a sad note about my dad I think I will share how proud of my family I am.

I am proud of how my mom is doing on her own. It takes a lot of strength to continue on and she's done it. She went back to school, got another degree and works really hard to provide for herself.

I'm proud of My oldest brother and how he has raised such great loving kids.

I'm proud of my older brother for staying strong even when life is hard. He hasn't given up even when the job market stinks. He continues to rely on God even when others would have given up.

I'm proud of my oldest sister and all that she does. We call her super mom because she is a super mom. She pulls the kiddos teeth when they need to come out (even though it totally disgusts her), she sews, she cooks, she cleans, and still finds time to play with her kiddos.

Im proud of my older sister as she deals with A's illness. Alot of mom's would have given up but she has helped miss A battle her cancer head on. She continues to got to school, while also traveling up her for chemo's and other appointments.

So That's my family. I could brag more. I am so grateful that they are my family and I know my dad would be proud

School ending!!!

So yesterday was a bitter sweet day for me. I had my CFS (child and family studies) graduation party. A lot of them will be graduating next weekend. I was really worried at the begining of the year as the 2 girls I got know really well weren't coming back. As this year has progressed I opened up more to the people in my classes and made some great friends. I am bummed to not be walking with them this weekend, but looking forward to my own graduation later this summer.

On a happier note. The CFS department gave us cords for graduation which was really sweet. Everyone recieved purple cords for our department. I was honored with a purple and yellow cord because I was in the honors program. It was a really cool experience. I am so glad I went to the party. It is just crazy to think of how different graduating from high school and college are from each other. I barely passed high school and I am graduating college with department honors, latin honors and national honor society.

I feel so blessed to have had the opertunity to get my degree. There have been so many people who have supported me and for that I am grateful. If it wasn't for one individual kept encouraging me to apply for FAFSA I never would have been here. She is a true blessing to me and I don't know if I can ever thank for enough for supporting me and believing in me. I could go on but the point is I feel very blessed to have the people in my life who support me.

Update on my life

Since the last post school has started up again. This term I have started my honor project. I am really excited about it. For my project I will be researching child hood cancer and the effects it has in schools. I am looking at the effects it has on the sibling and the child who has cancer and what that means for the classroom. On average one child in every class of 30 will have gone through or be going through treatment for cancer. This means that many classrooms need to look at the short term affects and long term affects cancer can have in the class room. research shows that siblings of cancer patients have a higher rate of behavior issues and PTSD than the child who has the cancer. This will be one of the main focuses of my project.

I got the practicum I wanted :) I will be starting at Doernbechor in May. Doernbechor has not been taking practicum students for a long time and just decided to open it this year. I have always wanted to work at doernbechor and feel very privilaged to have gotten this practicum. Doernbechor decided to only take one practicum student at a time and only took 2 total this year. I feel so blessed to be chosen as one of the two. I feel this is a true blessing from God.

Life is so busy right now. I feel like I am never home. Besides school keeping me busy I have enjoyed spending time with my friends and family. I have had the chance to attend birthday parties for family members as well as just playing with the nieces and nephews. They are growing so fast.

I went and saw Billy Elliot last week which was great. I also attended the Dave Ramsey seminar thanks to my friend Jason who had free tickets. I am really excited to start really putting Ramsey's steps into practice.

Last update for this blog is that I have applied for graduation. My application has been accepted so if all goes well I will graduate on August 13th!!!! I can't believe it is happening so fast.

I will update again soon

major update on my life

So it has been a long time since I posted. It seems like life is in fast forward right now. I have just finished applying for my second to last term as PSU. It is crazy to think that in August I will be done. It is exciting and also very scary. I know I have posted a lot about going to Africa. In a bitter sweet desicion I have decided to put that on hold a little while longer. God has been opening many oppertunities here and I feel like the options here are once in a life time options where Africa is something I can persue later on. I am constantly looking for ways in which to serve in Africa and am keeping my options open. I would like to help in an orphange at some point over there. I also recently came accross an article that was about how hospitals in Africa are starting to take on Child Life Specialists. In someways I wonder if that has been God's plan all along. I am continuing to persue Child Life and maybe I will end up in Africa someday. I remember the worry I had when Africa was becoming a reality the first time. I wondered what I had to dream and reach for after that because africa had been a dream for so long. I now see that my dream just changes. I dream of a time where I could either serve full time in a hospital in Africa or a time in which I could visit Africa on a regular occurance and be part of the work over there. I know God knows the plans and I am trying to just follow along.

In other news... I applied to the Honors program at PSU and was accepted. The honors program has been compared to do a thesis project, analysis, and paper over a 2 term stint. I will start that this term. I am working on a practicum site for Child Life. I don't want to jinx it but this is the first time this hospital has allowed practicum students in about 3-4 years. There is one slot available and I am in the running for it so please pray that it will work out. I am also applying for my senior capstone which is working at Camp Starlight which is for kids who are affected with or by AIDS and HIV. School is super crazy and I am not sure what I will do when I no longer have it but I am currently loving it.

While life always has its ups and down I feel so blessed lately by God in my life. I am just trying to keep perspective on what matters in life. I have been reading through the old testament in Chronilogical order. I have done Genesis, Job, Exodus, Leviticus, and now I am on Numbers. In reading the old testament I am constantly reminded that we will have trouble but he is with us, he never leaves us. I am also reminded that we may not know what a profound affect what we do today will impact people for generations to come. As you read these names of people who have died years ago and then look back at the geneology of Christ, those people didn't know that what they did that day would impact a person, a city, a nation, a world. I am trying to remember that as much as I can lately.

I know this is really long but that is the update. I am truly going to try and write in my blog more. I think I need to schedule it in. Last few updates since last post...I got a new laptop (I love my MAC), I started working with the youth at church, went on my first retreat with the youth, got my first injury on a youth event (just a concussion and had my forehead glued back together :) no worries!), and attended my first Blazer game. I will leave it at that. Sorry again for the long post.

Better than a hallelujah update.

So, many of you may have read the Better than a Hallelujah post. That was written the night of my niece Ammys surgery to remove a tumor. God has really been placing on my heart this song as we go through this journey. I will admit that night I was very angry with God. I still don't fully understand why I get to go through the journey of cancer again. It was not fun the first time and definetly not fun the second time watching Ammy go through it. One thing this song has continued to lay on my heart and get me through this is that sometimes it is are cries of anger and sadness that God would rather hear. So during this journey I will continue to give my hallelujahs to God but will also not hold back my cries and prayers from him as well. If you have not seen my sister's update on Ammy I have posted it below. She is much better at explaining it then I am.


Ammy Update

I must apologize to some of you who have been waiting to hear an update on my beautiful Niece Ammy after her last surgery. I know you have waited a long time and we have not shared much details with you. As a family we all needed some time to process and wait for more answers. We greatly appreciate each and every one of you and your many prayers. As far as her surgery she is recovering great and enjoying her first week at school. The Doctors removed most of the tumor located on her spine. Yes I did say MOST that is why we have been quiet for awhile. We knew bits and piece of what might lay ahead but it was just to hard to talk about with so little answers. Yesterday we met with Ammy's Oncologist and got more information as to what might lie ahead. Where to begin ... Ammy has a tumor that will not go away with Chemo or radiation so basically the plan is to keep that crazy thing from growing so she does not have to have any more surgeries. The tumor as is now does not hurt her or cause much problem it is however something she will have to check on for the rest of her life thru regular MRIs. So how do we stop the tumor from growing? The best way at this point in time is a chemo therapy treatment. The treatment is a 6 week coarse that will include 3 different pill forms of chemo and also an injection two or three times in that 6 weeks. This coarse of treatment will be repeated 8 times, so that means it will take about a year to complete. She will be having surgery in a few weeks to get a port put in her chest to make blood draws and injections much easier. Once the port is in place treatment will begin a few weeks after that. The side affects are she will feel sick to her stomach and her hair might thin a bit as well as weakened immune system. She will continue in school and learn to be very good and washing her hands to keep yucky germs away. The chemo is hopefully to keep the tumor from growing any bigger over the next 2 to 3 years. She will be continued to monitored thru MRIs and if new growth happens we will start a new plan. Ammy's spirit is well and she is such a brave little trooper. Thank you again dear friends for your prayers and support!!!

Africa #2

Africa update #2.

Sunday- We spent the day at Jaska. This is the secondary school which boards junior high age kids. I never thought I could learn so many life lessons in one day. These kids are amazing. They are in school 9 months out of the year and only go home 3 times for a month. The kids lead the service today. They did many presentations for us that were so moving. The one that moved me the most was a group of 5 kids. One girl would pray in swahli and then all 5 of the childre would sing. Lord we pray for this Valley make this Valley a mountain of God. Then she would pray some more. I was totally in tears. These kids have a trunk with their stuff and that is it. It is a small trunk that sits on the end of their bed. They also sang a song called I am not Forgotten which talks about how they are not forgotten because God knows who they are. It says I have a hope and a future, God has a plan for me. It is so true. God has a huge plan for all of these kids. The Jaska kids go to school everyday. Monday- Friday is traditional school. Saturday I believe they spend 4 hours and on sunday 2 hours in independat school work. They go to their class room and just do work. There is no adult supervising but they know what they are to do and do it. This would not happen in an american school. We got to eat lunch their and chat with other groups from other states. We then we shopping at the local mall and prepped for VBS which started the next day.

Begining of my Africa updates

Life has been full of ups and downs lately. Today as I feel somewhat down I am looking at the ups. This brings me to finally blogging about Africa. Sorry it has taken about a month to write about it. Writing and talking about Africa is such an emotional experience. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to go on this mission trip. We stayed at a hotel. That was nice considering what we thought we would be staying in. I shared a room with wonderful girls LaReina and Natalie. We were the young ones of the group. We arrived Late on Friday and went right to bed as our last flight was the longest flight and packed. We had to sit for 1.5 hours while waiting for those with connecting flights. On top of all that the ground AC was not working so it was super hot and there was not air circulation. We were exhausted. When sleeping you had to have a mosquito net over you, which was very claustrophobic and annoying when you had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Saturday morning we woke up had a delicious breakfast at the hotel (All the food was pretty good, by the end I was sick of eggs and rice thoughJ). After breakfast we went over to the main school Pingani that also held the main operations of Missions of Hope International. On our way to Pingani we were hit almost immediately with the sad reality of what is going on in Africa. By the side of the road was a child, maybe junior high sniffing glue. In Africa this would be there form of heroin. Many of these kids are street kids who sniff glue to try and forget the misfortune they live in. When we got to Pingani we had an orientation meeting over what missions of hope does and what they are planning in the future. After the orientation we took a walk through the pingani slum. All of the slums run along the Mathare River. It was so devastating to see. There was garbage everywhere. All the kids wanted to hold your hand and have you take their picture. They would say “How are you?” Over and over again as that was all they knew. It was a real eye-opener. The houses are so close together and most were smaller than my bedroom. We were able to go into a ladies home and talk to her. Her house was decorated with old newspaper and wrapping paper. Raphael one of the social workers who was giving the tour shared that her house was decorated because she was a Christian. They did this to show that the love Jesus and our thankful for all he has given them. There was so much to take in and it was only the first day. That afternoon when we got back we went shopping in which I totally got ripped off because I do not barder well at all. Well that was only the first day in Africa. I will try and blog again tomorrow more of what we did. I am going to try and blog each day until I am done detailing my trip. I will also add some pictures soon.

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes!!!!!

I know I have not written about Africa. That will come soon I promise. but this has been on my heart alot lately so here goes.

I am not really a huge Amy Grant fan but I have been really moved by her song the last couple of weeks. Often times I think in churches we try to stick with the Hallelujahs because it is safe and does not make us vulnerable. After going to Africa and dealing with Life back in the states. I have realized one major thing. Some times God would rather hear our cries of misery rather than our hallelujah. Granted God wants to hear our hallelujahs but he also wants us to come to him in our times of trials. God says "Come to me all who are weary and burdened and you will find rest. I am choosing to find rest in God tonight. The lyrics for this song our listed below in case you are unfamilar with the song.

God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves a drunkards cry,
The soldiers plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what's been done,
The silence when the words won't come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out,singing out.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah


Repeat Chorus

blog update April/May

It has been a while since I posted I know but life seems to be changing all the time. So what have I been up to...

Most of April and May has been busied with school. I am taking 4 classes this term which keeps me busy. I am loving Portland State!!! I am getting to know some really great people and build some good friendships. I sat down with my advisor and I will be officially done with school at the end of next term if I can stay on track. I have registered for Fall term. I will be taking a dreaded science class, a practicum, another professional development class and one other class toward my degree.

With school taking much of my time, free time has been limited. I have been able to get some fun things in. I celebrated my mom and my sisters birthday with them, had a New Moon party, enjoyed dinners and coffees with friends, and celebrated mothers day with my mom. I have done a little house sitting as well.

Potter's hands had their women's retreat and I was able to share about my africa trip. It was really fun. We made some bracelets for the kids in Africa and we also made prayer bracelets for ourselves. It has been really fun to see some of the women wearing them at church.

As for my trip I have gotten all my shots and am ready to go. I need to start my typhoid pills and fill my other perscriptions for the trip. I have my money in and now I just wait to go. I am so excited. I feel like God has been preparing me for this for a while now and I cant believe it is really happening.

One thing that has been hard with thinking about Africa and life right now is dealing with self doubt. I have been feeling the calling for africa for about 10 years. It is scary to think that I am actually going to be going. As school is almost done and Africa is really happening I wonder what is in store for me next. I dont like the uncertainty but I guess that is life.

This is a really long post so I will end for now. I am trying to be better about posting but am struggling so I will try and post before Africa for sure.

Feb/March update (Africa update included)

So Like I said in early post I am really bad at updating. As for February I can't really think of anything that happened. It was a pretty slow month :). Since I can't think of much to say about February I will move onto March.

March brought lost of fun and adventure I guess. With my brother in law Brian being in tax season and them trying to sell their house I have been able to spend lots of time with my sister Michelle and her kiddos. Man do I love them. We have done many starbucks trips, stops at the mall and other little adventures.

I have had the chance to spend some time with great friends this month. I feel like life is in fast forward so it has been great to take a break and enjoy dinners, coffees and movies with friends.

I have finished my second term at PSU and was officially accepted into the Child and Family Studies program I am very excited but also nervous. My class load is much bigger and trying to work with a 17 credit tem is quite difficult but I will get through. I am so excited to see the end finally I have about 2 years still but they are flying by. With finishing my last term I have learned that I need to relax and not stress out so much. This is super hard for me. I was very stressed because I felt I was falling really behind in classes. Well I walked away with 3 a's so I can't complain. I need to remember that I need balence between school and life.

Africa planning is going well. I have 1700 of 3000 needed to go on this trip. So I still need to raise 1300. I really feel like this is supposed to happen so I am not stressing about the money yet :) We are in the process of writing our testimonies. (Thanks hil for your help) and planing VBS. I had the oppertunity to give a presentation to the people I nanny and will also give a presentation to her bible study at church as well as the one I am attending. My aunt has very graciously done a fund raiser for me, you can get information about it on facebook by joining the group knitting a way to africa. She is knitting dishclothes to raise money for my trip. If you are not on facebook and would like more information please let me know. The cost is 2.50 per dishcloth.

January 2010

So I am really bad at updating but I am going to try and do a monthly review It might be easier. This is not in any particular order.

• At the begining of January I got a letter that I qualify for National Honor Society. While I know alot of people recieve this I never thought I would. I was never really good at school so I love that I am doing well in College.
• My weekends have been filled with hanging out with awesome friends. From movies to Ava's and girl chat sessions ( there are more twilight fans out there then people want to admit) I have had a blast. Where was all this fun when I wasn't trying to find stuff to do during Christmas break.
• I experienced mediterian food. That was so good. I have practiced making cafe frappes and have cut out a little bit of Starbucks ( definetely a hard habit to break)
• Africa trip planning is going well. I am sending out my support letters this week. Even with all the fear of traveling without someone I am close to, I feel like this trip is totally in God's hands. We are doing an informational evening on February 27th and TCC.
• Ammy had to go to the hospital with some issues. They will be doing another MRI to find out exactly what is going on. It is a little scary but we know that we have God to rely on.
• My friend got baptized. She has had a really hard life and it is so exciting to see her join bible study in Sept. and now be baptized.

With all the craziness that January has brought, I have also been learning some lessons:

• As much as I want people to be proud of me and support me it is not about those people. I need to remember that God is the one who needs to be proud of me. I should be striving to hear him and him alone say well done.
• People will let you down, they will hurt you over and over again but again it is God that will always be with you.
• I will always miss my dad it will just be in different ways
• Our world is full of pain and sorrow but there is always a hope in Jesus.

I know this is a really long post sorry. Just wanted to get it all down when I could.

Africa Update!

I had an africa meeting last night and have to say I am getting so excited. I feel this trip is of God and everything will fall into place the plan so far is that we will be gone from July 8th- July 22nd. We will do 2-three day vacation bible schools at 2 of the schools there. Vacation bible school will be in the AM and so in the afternoon we will be going into homes where the parent/s have AIDS. We will give them food baskets and share the good news of Jesus Christ. Tears come to my eyes as I write this. These people need Jesus so bad. I feel blessed that I can be there and share it with them. We will also go on a 2 night/3 day safari. I get asked a lot about whether I am scared of the AIDS issue. Truth is I am not at all. God has totally placed this trip at my feet and I feel that I am just along for the journey and I can't wait to see what God has planned. That is all for now.

update!!!!

So it has been a really long time since I have blogged. Life is really crazy right now. What can I say. I am not really even sure. I started full time at Portland State it is definetely and adjustment. I am sort of in a funk right now. While I know there are a lot of people who care about me I feel really alone right now. I don't know if it is being unsure about school or just life in general. I am trying ot fight the funk.

Days like today make me really miss my Dad. I have been trying to deal with all this car stuff since I got rear ended. My dad would have handle a lot of that. I took for granted all the things my dad used to take care of until he his not here. People used to say it would get easier and in some ways it has in others it is much worse. So many things lately have happenend that I know my dad would have loved to see. Some examples is that Alyssa is a Senior this year. Alyssa held a special place in my dads heart. My dad would be so proud of her. Then I look at Ammy. That little girl has dified everything the doctors thought. She is running around happy and healthy as we can all tell. My dad would be proud of all his grandkids.

Sorry I know that is probibly not the blog you wanted to read but that is where I am right now. I know that God has plans bigger than I can imagine and life will get better.

I will try to post tomorrow about Africa!!

OMSI

I have never been to OMSI. I always wanted to go to omsi but it never worked out. Brian and Michelle recieved free passes but had such a busy weekend that they couldn't go. Beth and I took the tickets and took A and C with us. I thought I would share a few photos. At the very bottom is a video of Ammy and youhave to listen to Colin's answer He sure does love his ammy.

Graduating

I got the official email a couple days ago! I have successfully recieved my associates degree!!! Yeah me. Now I wait on PSU. Hopefully I will find out soon. Now for FAFSA. When will school ever end.

update

So I know It has been a while!!! Life just seems to get busier and busier. I am still working both jobs but one is very part time now:(. I wondered what I would do with the time but have seemed to fill it up quite fast.

Im on my final term at PCC. I have applied for graduation and should find out in a couple weeks. With that I have finally taken the plunge and applied to PSU. I will also find out about being accepted in a few weeks. It seems so weird that the PCC chapter of my life is closing I have been taking classes there for so long it seems like a part of me. But I guess as one door closes another opens.

I have been enjoying spending time with my nieces and nephews. Wow they grow up fast. I can't believe the youngest one just turned 2. As I don't have kids of my own I love hanging out with these little ones and watching them grow.

Future plans: Work, Wallowa, help with VBS, Africa in 2010!!! I am really excited about the last one. I will try to post more this summer. I am also training right now with Bethany to do a 5k this summer. That should be fun.

Update

As you can see my blog is very outdated. The picture thing has not worked so well for me. A little update on my life. I am in the last term of the year. Im taking Accounting, Typing, Oregon History and Speech communication. I just celebrated little A's 6th Birthday she is so big. I have loved hanging out with my sisters and starting a little mini bible study with Michelle. We are going through the book Jesus by Beth Moore. There's not a lot else going on. My hours have gone down a little with Nanny. So bad side not making as much, good side I now have Monday and Fridays off. I am enjoying the sunshine and life in general. Miss A has an MRI coming up in June but we are hopeful and trying to take it just one day at a time. I will try to be better at bloging it just gets hard sometimes.

Behind

So I know that February is over pretty much but I will think of 28 things to post. Just guve me time. For March My idea is things that are green. It should be a tough one. Starbucks will be in there. Join me if you want. I am going to try and post one a day. Ammy is doing good her spirits are down but hopefully not for long. THANK YOU all for your prayers